Adjust your sail !

IN THE NAME OF ALLAH, ONE LORD AND ONLY

Alhamdulillah

I’m thankful to Allah for the moment of truth, inspiring and in deed meaningful experience shared with my primary care and family medicine tutor, Dr. Khairul

I can say, he spoke my heart. My feeling. My thought.

You know, ever since I entered medical school, I have embedded the feeling of stupidity in my self. Slowly I started to store it in my subconscious mind which would diminish away my glorious life during school and even my pre-university life. (This is WRONG. DO NOT follow)

Many times, I feel incompetent.

" In medicine, it's all about repetition. Either you read repeatedly or you repeat your exam "

Obviously, none of us wanted to repeat this long-enough-course-with-extra-houseman-ship-years. However as he said, repeating years is not uncommon in medical school and only those whom go through it will understand. He told us, not to be bother to compare with other courses. Here, passing through is GOOD ENOUGH. Wow! that's a catching point for me . Every time I anxiously waiting for my exam result, my mum would give me right onto my face : "eh, nak pass je? " HAHAHAHA :)

" When we fail you, we are not saying that you are stupid or not eligible of becoming a doctor. We're just trying to say that you are not prepare to go to the next level. We will let you go when you are ready "

Dush! Again to myself. Lecturers never thought that we're (I am) stupid. It's our selves. Despite there is/are lecturer whom verbally say those words but I'm sure they don't literally mean it. But I do feel stupid if I were like being bash out especially during bed side teaching, even without those concrete words. Haish~ =_____= I know, my friends always thought that I'm fine because I'll make myself look fine no matter how it is. but seriously, sometimes I have a thought that I've chosen a wrong direction.

" In sailing, you can't change the wind but you can always adjust your sail "

"Some people just need to read it once. some twice, and some even more. tu semua anugerah Allah bagi. It's your attitude that is important"

It is in deed a big thought for me. I MUST adjust my sail. since I realise that I'm the kinda person whom need to read more that twice, whom sailing without the wind or even against the wind perhaps?

I felt even better when he shared many stories of his friends whom are average Joe but they are doing great now. Those whom were the stars and suddenly reduce shinning. Excellent in medical school does not assure your excellence in working life / further studies ; he said. Thus, now I have cleared up my mind that probably it's not my time yet but the day will come for sure Insya Allah :)

someone said this to me;

Everyone is a star, but they shine at different time :)

Let's adjust our sail peeps! :D

Wallahua'lam =)